Stinson's got Game
by NomDuClavier
Summary: Out of the blue, Codex might've just found herself a man who is a lot of things, a starting character isn't one of them — Barney/Codex; crossover; AU; set a year after HIMYM 4.12, Benefits and somewhere in "The Guild"'s non-existent 3rd season.
1. Prologue: Meeting Codex

**Stinson's got Game**

a HIMYM/The Guild crossover

Prologue — "Meeting" Codex

**Pairing:** Barney/Codex  
**Rating:** FRM/AO (later chapters, this one: T)  
**Genre:** Romance, Porn With Some Plot (later chapters)  
**Note:** Set after HIMYM 4.12, 'Benefits', and somewhere in The Guild's as of yet non-existent season 3. Alternate Universe. Mentions "30 Rock", another great series.**  
Word count:** 1844  
**Written for:** **idioticonion**, who completely fangirled the idea of a Barney/Codex pairing.

**Summary:** Out of the blue, Codex might've just found herself a man who is a lot of things, a starting character isn't one of them — Barney/Codex.

* * *

_Codex_ — a.k.a. Cyd Sherman, on those odd occasions she ventured from behind her PC into what the uninitiated called Real Life — had just recorded another entry for her vlog when up popped a message on Skype from a new contact, someone calling him- or herself — she guessed it was a he from the nickname — _The Barnacle_. Looking at his profile before actually reading the message and deciding whether or not to allow him to see her presence — online status, again to the uninitiated — she saw he was a producer for the company responsible for the game that haunted her dreams along with most of her waking hours.

It took her a moment to compose herself — even though her webcam wasn't active right now (and she knew better than to 'cam' with strangers) — she couldn't help but feel a need to compose herself before she replied, first reading his original message to her.

_**The Barnacle:**_ _Are you the one they call Codex? The finest healer on the server, rightful queen of The Knights of Good?_

_**Codex:**__ If it didn't say you worked for 'the company' on your profile, I'd tell your smooth talking self to get lost. One sycophant is all I need... actually, I could do without that one as well._

_**The Barnacle:**__ I have no idea who you're on about, but my guess is a guildie that's taken a shine to you. Having followed your guild's progress and your vlog, I can't say I blame him. You are quite something, Codex. [imagine a winning smile here, Skype emotes don't do my features justice — same as yours, coincidentally]._

_**Codex:**__ Do game publisher employees make a habit of chatting up their clientele, Mr. Barnacle?_

_**The Barnacle:**__ Not in general, no. I'd fire them if they did, don't need the competition, lame as they are. Me, on the other hand, I'm awesome. I don't suppose you've read my blog, or you'd know this. The Barnacle's Fortress of Awesome_

Codex takes a moment to speed read the blog, as meanwhile Barney — sitting at home, grinning — thought that this slow night that started at McLaren's might just be salvaged after all. Robin'd given him the brush off again; granted, he hadn't made much of an effort making a move on her, not after he'd declared his love for her a year ago and got rebuffed, hard. He swallowed the bit of bile that rose with a sip of scotch, savouring the double burn as he waited for Codex to reply.

_**Codex:**__ And you expect me to take you seriously as a game producer, who by all signs is making a move on me, especially after he shows me his blog full of tips on how to pick up women. What am I, your next experiment?_

She couldn't help but be intrigued, though. Apart from Zaboo, who she couldn't be less interested in like *that* if she tried, men hadn't exactly been throwing themselves at her. Although she supposed that getting out of the house for men to actually be able and notice her might help in that regard.

_**The Barnacle: **__Look, I'm being up front about my womanising tendencies with you. That way it doesn't detract from the offer I was about to make you. Can we chat face-to-face (or for lack of meeting in person, you cool with us both switching on our webcams?)_

_*The Barnacle changed his name to Barney*  
*Barney sets a new topic: Stinson's got Game*_

Codex thought for a moment, then added _The Barnacle_ to her list of contacts and authorised him to view her webcam and switched it on. Shortly after that his handsome face showed on her end, his equally suave voice trickling over her from her speakers like honey, sending a shiver down her spine. Damn the man was... — she thought for a moment and failed to come up with anything better than — all man, and dressed to the nines — And he certainly was a 'nine', by her reckoning. She unmuted her microphone.

_**Codex:**__ So, Mr. Stinson. What exactly is this offer of yours?_  
(And does it involve you replenishing my mana pool? Damn girl, get ahold of yourself. Don't get all desperate with him just because you can't remember the last time your lover wasn't either your hand or that joystick on your nightstand.)

Barney's chuckle sent another shiver along her spine, and he could tell by the reaction on his screen that she was putty in his hands. Well, not literally. If he had been in reach for her to be in his hands, she'd be naked by now... which reminded him, on with this game.

_**Barney: **__Call me Barney, please. I was wondering if you knew that Ultracel owns the company that produces the game you play so well. Along with owning Goliath National Bank, which I'll get to later. Now as it turns out, apart from making the yellow fluffy stuff that covers tennis balls, our New York branch has gotten a request for a play test facility. They felt that the last patch came up lacking, too many bugs, monsters not spawning properly. I'm certain you're familiar with the bugs I'm talking about._

For once Barney wasn't just blagging, he actually played the same game. That's how he found Codex' guild, and through it their website and her vlog. Well, not entirely... Ultracel didn't own the game studio, but Codex didn't need to know that. In fact, it was better if she didn't. If this went somewhere he could always suggest to the others on the board of directors they buy the company, his awesome powers of persuasion would do the rest.

Sure, with his stock portfolio — massively increased in value since his promotion last year — women would throw themselves at him more than usual. It's not as if he had a problem meeting women, and by and large he kept them in the dark on just how ridiculously wealthy and powerful he was. After Robin stabbed him in the heart (it had hurt worse than a stab in the back because she'd looked right at him), he could no longer pretend to be incapable of feelings; if Robin didn't want to be his particular brand of Ted's concept of _The One_, then maybe Cyd Sherman would fit the bill.

He just needed to find out exactly how freaky she was. He needed someone who knew how to get her freak on, he did after all have standards, being The Barnacle, and all that jazz.

As "Real Life" hadn't made him all that happy when it came to love, maybe it was time to expand his horizons to include cyberspace.

_**Codex: **__You want me, Codex, to come work for your test facility? That sounds too good to be true... what's the catch? You want me to put on a show for you on this here webcam, even though it's entirely unrelated to my rocking skillz, to be considered for the job?_

Smart girl. After all the countless bimbos, Barney could no longer deny that he appreciated it. She might just be equally as 'street', impressive for someone who probably spends most of her time glued to the keyboard.

A smirk and slightly raised right brow set her heart aflutter as they graced her screen. This man was everything Zaboo was not, he wasn't a starting character in Real Life; Barney, the _man_, was epic, legendary, even... dare she think it, a Boss.

_**Barney:**__ I see the rumors of your smarts were not exaggerated._ _Also, I see I should've been a bit clearer in my offer. I want you, Codex, healer goddess extraordinaire, to *_head up* _this game test facility. We'll call it "_The Lab_", and it'll be where the latest and greatest of games, and not just the MMO you play, will grace your office. Although instead of an actual office I was thinking more along the lines of something furnished like a living room, comfortable couch, fully stocked fridge nearby, biggest plasmas on the market. The works, you know?_

Codex didn't know it, but that sounded suspiciously like the room Barney was in right now. The little of it she could see on webcam didn't do it justice. And before she knew she said it, she had.

_**Codex: **__Take me._

_She quickly recovered and added an afterthought. Time for her to get proactive, she felt unusually empowered... this Barney had quickly uncaged her inner woman, and she relished in it._

_**Codex: **__To this facility, show me around. Then I'll decide. If I like what I see and accept your job offer, who knows, you might just get that cam show after all._

A smirk of her own was sent his way, Barney felt his mouth go dry and quickly took another sip.  
_  
__**Codex:**__ Or, with an office space like that, why use a webcam when I could give that show in meatspace?  
_  
The saucy wink she threw him almost threw him for a loop. Years of Barnacle training held his features and voice in check as he replied, trying not to sound too eager in his acceptance. She'd passed his test of freakitude, alright, and then some.

_**Barney: **__It's a date, then. Tomorrow, meet you at 30 Rock? If you're unaware, we recently bought General Electric, and NBC along with it. I'm CEO of GE among other things, these days. True Story. Though as you can see behind me, I tend to prefer and work from home if I can, and I tend not to delegate to flunkies what I'm more competent at doing myself. Which is why Jack Donaghy didn't contact you.  
_  
Thing was, he was telling the truth... mostly. The reason he didn't want Jack contacting Codex was because the man was almost worse a lech than he was, let him go perv on Liz Lemon. A brief thought of a Liz/Barney/Codex tricycle entered his mind before he shook it away. Enough with the old Barney, whatever his outer façade, the man was miserable half the time.

Codex for her part felt her heart hammering in her throat. Had she — out of the blue like this — just landed herself one of the most powerful men in New York, who by everything she could tell about him was not only interested in her, he was a fellow gamer and geek. The life-sized Storm Trooper just visible behind him told her that if he wasn't her ideal man, he was close, and the money be damned... not that it hurt he was loaded as well.

_**Codex:**__ I... suppose I could give you a preview. As long as you promise you won't think less of me, and maybe give me something to look at as well?_

The Barnacle didn't strip on webcam, even if it landed him a show in return... Barney Stinson however, faced with an utterly intriguing woman who bore all the hallmarks of being into him, made a quick decision and hooked a finger behind his tie. His most winning smile graced his countenance and he gave her one of his trademark lines, recontextualised this time:

_**Barney:**__ Go for Barney!_

* * *

  
Damn it, why do my one-shots have a tendency to want to be multi-chapters? :P

p.s. I'm thinking of dubbing this pairing "Brodex", thoughts?


	2. The Show Must Go On

**Stinson's got Game**

a HIMYM/The Guild crossover

Chapter 1 — The show must go on

**Pairing:** Barney/Codex  
**Rating:** FRM/AO  
**Genre:** Romance, Porn With Some Plot  
**Note:** Set after HIMYM 4.12, 'Benefits', and somewhere in The Guild's as of yet non-existent season 3. Alternate Universe. Mentions "30 Rock", another great series.**  
Word count:** 1785 (this chapter)  
**Written for:** idioticonion, who completely fangirled the idea of a Barney/Codex pairing.  
**Dedicated to: **Lolita Tides, my own gamer!grrl, who knows just how to Codex my Barney, and who's mana pool I feel the need to replenish more than once a day.

**Summary:** Out of the blue, Codex might've just found herself a man who is a lot of things, a starting character isn't one of them — Barney/Codex.

* * *

Barney hooked a finger behind his tie, loosening it.

_**Barney:**_ _Go for Barney!_

_**Codex:**__ So, Barney... what kind of preview are you looking for?_

_**Barney:**_ _An M-rated one?_

He gave her a salacious grin as he took his tie off altogether._  
_  
_**Codex:**__ Well... that's gonna cost you, Mr. Stinson.  
_  
Meanwhile she slid her office chair back a bit so more of her was in view and started teasing up the hem of her T-shirt. She couldn't believe she was contemplating this. Contemplating? Heck, she was doing this. Neither of them were showing anything but the smallest amount of skin, and yet the promise of what was to come alone started to get her heart pumping faster. She wanted this man, and by every creep she'd ever helped slay, she vowed she'd get a piece of him when they met tomorrow.

_**Barney:**_ _Cost me what, Codex?_

Barney was getting turned on as well, and, if he was honest with himself, it was more the fact that this girl, a geek like himself, with her intelligence was about to give him a show. Not the show in itself (although to be fair, he didn't exactly lament that fact either). He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt and shucked his handmade French cut jacket.

Codex gave him a warm smile, and though intellectually he knew she was establishing a Pavlovian action-reward pattern for him, he couldn't care less; her smile made him want to shed quite a bit more than just his jacket, as long as she kept it up. Such a simple gesture, something the Barnacle could never have enjoyed as much, and this woman... this woman had Barney down to rights, and, let's face it, he was enjoying himself.__

_**Codex:**__ That's starting to look like what I had mind._

She took off her T-shirt, and hearing him gasp on the other end in reaction to the sight of her bra-clad breasts and creamy expanse of flat stomach sent a flush across that same chest, her heartbeat increased even more, her breathing became shallower — and she didn't understand it, they hadn't even touched each other yet (or, in this case, themselves). Codex resolved not to care and instead enjoy what this man was doing to her, and she did enjoy this preview of what was certain to come when they met in the flesh.

Tomorrow... even preparing for the most hard fought Boss battles, the day before the raid, she'd not felt this pumped, impatient to get going. Tempted to tell him to send a car for her so they could finish this in his apartment, she decided she needed to show strength, it would help her remain equal footing with this man... you know, should there develop an actual relationship later on. She'd be lying if — little as she knew about him — she said that the prospect didn't sound appealing. He was evidently an intellectual match for her, a gamer himself, cultured (and she appreciated pop culture like Star Wars along with the more traditional 'high-society' interpretation), certainly not bad looking either, in a word: awesome.

Damn it if she hadn't just caught herself borrowing a catchword of his only, what... an hour or so after they started chatting? Not even that. Did that mean something? She knew she'd be awake all night thinking about this, and what their meeting tomorrow would bring.

Codex needed to get this train of thought under control before it spoiled the mood for her. There was such a thing as multitasking, and there was such a thing as letting your mind run rampant when you're trying to have some adult fun.  
_  
__**Barney:**_ _I can't say I'm disappointed with what this gets me, Codex. What do you think would happen if I were to unbutton my shirt entirely and let it just, I don't know, hang open a bit?_

This was crunch time. He wouldn't be surprised if she backed down now. Hell, a woman like her, he wouldn't even hold it against her. He'd like to hold something against her, alright. What up!

He reminded himself he wasn't at McLaren's and there was nobody to share that Five with him, and found that he didn't care. Barney was much more interested in Codex' next move. Conventional wisdom held that nice girls didn't do things like this. Barnacle wisdom held that he didn't date — okay he didn't one-night-stand (wait, can that compound noun be used as a verb?) — nice girls unless he wanted to corrupt them.

The Barnacle wanted to verb Codex' noun, compounded with interest. Barney Stinson was looking forward to whatever she wanted to give him, or not, and if verbs got noun'd along the way...

Damn it, she got him mixing up his words. Nobody'd done that since Robin, or Shannon before her, and he hadn't even met her in the flesh yet. Did that mean... oh boy, he'd be thinking about this all night. He hoped he managed to look presentable tomorrow when they met for real.

He did as he'd said and unbuttoned the remaining buttons on his shirt, letting the two sides fall apart and display his chest. Barney admitted to himself it was one of his best features, he wasn't ashamed in the least to show it off, although not usually like this. Strange that Codex had the power to make him do things he normally wouldn't consider doing, they'd been chatting for what? Not even an hour, and already _that_ Ted-word was teasing at the back of his mind. He had to stop this train of thought, pronto, before he did something to ruin all of this, or make it so he couldn't enjoy what adult fun was about to transpire.

_**Codex:**__ Barney. I need you to understand something. This is a first for me, webcamming like this, and it's because I ... I want to see more of you, and I don't mean just on webcam._

_**Barney:**__ Good. I'd like that too, Codex. You think you would like a proper date tomorrow night, after our business date tomorrow afternoon? Forget what you've read about me on my blog, the man may be successful, but he's also a miserable asshole. I wouldn't mind growing out of the Barnacle into Barney Stinson... and I can't believe I just said all that. That's it, if this comes to light, my street cred's in tatters, my cool will turn tepid, my awesome, no longer the stuff of legends._

Barney took a sip of his whisky and swallowed, hard. He was wrong before, _this_ was crunch time. He honestly didn't know where that bout of honesty had come from, Barnacle would've said Codex was infectious, carrying a disease much like _feelings_ (and he'd wince at it, stopping just shy of making a pentacle with his fingers and backing off in search of unholy vodka — he'd tried that once, it was exactly as hard as it sounded). Codex... he had to remind himself she was called Cyd (though Codex could be his pet name for her), apparently inspired honesty with her in him.

He backtracked... wait, what? Pet fucking name?! It's one thing to not mind hoping that you find a more meaningful relationship one day, it's quite another to become this taken with someone this rapidly. He'd make up the balance tomorrow, on whether or not he considered himself doomed, or one lucky son of a game host.

_**Codex: **__Then, nice girl that I normally am - as far as the world at large is concerned - I don't suppose you mind my letting out my inner wild child woman? She's been caged for far too long._

Her heart was beating so rapidly now she was certain he could see her jugular pulsing (and oh, how she wanted him there to put his fingers on it, then to put those fingers to better use afterward, down there). She steeled herself, then unclasped her brasiere, holding it to her chest with one arm as she used the other to 'unstrap' the thin spaghetti bands from her pale shoulders. Codex could see Barney was waiting in suspense, and wondered if he thought her a porcelein goddess momentarily before sending such foolish penny novel thoughts out of her mind, this wasn't Wuthering Heights. This was raw, untamed... and oh, so, gooooood.

Once more she was surprised at her reaction when really nothing much had happened thus far. Well, her underwear was now truly well soaked, so she supposed something had happened alright. She hadn't had that blatant a response to a man in ... since the time her hand and joystick had become her steadfast nightly companions. That was another reason she'd been so desperate for Zaboo to get lost, she just hadn't felt comfortable taking care of her needs with him in the same house. This Barney however, he could fill up her mana pool any time he wanted.

She bared her breasts to him, and microseconds turned to an eternity as she hoped for his acceptance of her offer.

_**Barney:**__ Fuck! Hot damn. Sorry._

His expletive and wicked grin sent relief coursing through her, along with more arousal, as it became evident he liked what he saw.

_**Codex:**__ This healer goddess extraordinaire is pleased to see her offer was so gracefully accepted by her Liege Lord._  
(fuck! where did that come from? Dammit, I hope he doesn't think me a sad loser now. Way to go girl and blow it with _him... _hold on, he already merits an emphasised _him_ in my thoughts? Is this good or is this bad. Right, stop thinking so much.)

Barney's face almost split in two as he couldn't contain the grin that statement inspired in him.

_**Barney: **__Your Liege Lord, eh? I like the sound of that. Or, to keep in character, 'You have admirably acquitted yourself of your quest, fine physician. Would you care for another quest to hone your mighty skills even further? But command him, and your Liege Lord believes he can think of something suited to your unique talents.'_

Codex couldn't help herself and giggled, and it was music to Barney's ears. Of course the way her breasts jiggled as her chest shook with laughter wasn't exactly problematic to him either. He let out a whispered 'Awesome', that nonetheless made its way to Codex just fine.

_**Codex: **__What is awesome?  
_  
_**Barney:**__ Not what, whom? You are._

Crap. Did he just Ted-out there? He might as well have told her he loved her. Love at first chat. Certainly not a concept he believed in, although he had to face the facts. He might have to reconsider his stance on a lot of things from now on.

* * *

Y/N?


	3. Headlong

**Stinson's got Game**

a HIMYM/The Guild crossover

Chapter 2 — Headlong

**Pairing:** Barney/Codex  
**Rating:** FRM/AO  
**Genre:** Romance, Porn With Some Plot  
**Note:** Set after HIMYM 4.12, 'Benefits', and somewhere in The Guild's as of yet non-existent season 3. Alternate Universe. Mentions "30 Rock", another great series.**  
Word count:** 2629 (this chapter, longest yet in this story)  
**Written for:** idioticonion, who completely fangirled the idea of a Barney/Codex pairing.  
**Dedicated to: **Lolita Tides, my own gamer!grrl, who knows just how to Codex my Barney, and who's mana pool I feel the need to replenish more than once a day.

**Summary:** Out of the blue, Codex might've just found herself a man who is a lot of things, a starting character isn't one of them — Barney/Codex.

---

_**Codex: **__What is awesome?  
_  
_**Barney:**__ Not what, whom? You are._

Crap. Did he just Ted-out there? He might as well have told her he loved her. Love at first chat. Certainly not a concept he believed in, although he had to face the facts. He might have to reconsider his stance on a lot of things from now on.

Codex blushed. She could tell by the way he tried to cover up his own shocked look (and almost succeeding at it), that it had slipped out. That this man of men was already so obviously taken with her not only felt good to her, aroused her more than she already was. What would he make of the obvious wet spot in her underwear when she took her sweats off in a moment, she wondered. Codex was excited by the prospect that he'd probably find it arousing himself to see her reaction to him, the possibility she might see his erection grow in his underwear as a result only served to enlarge said wet spot.

_**Codex:** My, my. I have this feeling you like me, Barney._

She pinched her nipples, teasing him some more, eliciting a sound from him she'd not mind hearing far more often. And preferably without the internet (or anything else for that matter) between them.

Barney for his part resolved to get the upper hand back by — reluctantly — taking a play from The Barnacle's book. If he let himself be his true self, Barney Stinson, his mind was overwhelmed by this intoxicating woman to the point where all he wanted to do, all he could do, was please her. The Barnacle did the same thing in order to derive greater pleasure again from it himself, and managed to keep emotional distance. Opting for some Barnacle trash talk without actually closing himself off from Cyd, he formulated his response. He wondered what she would make of his evident erection when he took of the slacks in a moment, that was after all where they seemed to be headed, and concluded she'd probably enjoy the evidence of his arousal, caused without doubt by her.

_**Barney:** If you were here right now to put your hand down these slacks, you could confirm that feeling for yourself, Codex._

And felt instantly guilty for reducing her to a sex object, there was so much more to her. He was attracted to her before they started this strip tease routine, he should not let her forget that.

_**Barney:** You're a very attractive person, and while your awesome body has amplified my arousal, you need to know there were some stirrings on my end before we did this._

She saw him waving his hand around between himself and the camera, and smiled, understanding exactly what he meant.

_**Codex:** Don't worry. It's the same for me, I was starting to get wet for you before I suggested giving you a preview. Whatever this is, the attraction is more than physical for me as well. I'm not usually this aggressive or forward, but I took a chance, hoping to catch your interest so fully that tomorrow when we met, we might see where this could lead._

**Barney:** You're already wet for me? Well, then my admission of sporting a package in your honour wasn't that far off the mark. And you certainly did catch my attention all right, I wasn't kidding when I said you're awesome, Codex; I'd like to see where this is headed as well tomorrow. After our business meet, that is. I don't want you to think that a ploy just to get you to show some skin.

He wasn't exactly a newcomer when it came to arousing a woman. Still, even with the 'dates' he picked up most of the time that were really into him, it took more to get them going.

She smirked and had a twinkle in her eye.

_**Codex:** I think it started out as a ploy, when Mr. Barnacle was doing the talking. I'm happy to see Barney won out, and that he's the genuine article. Barnacle would've never gotten to see these.  
_  
Barney's happy to see that his new old self is so appealing to this woman, particularly because he's getting sick and tired of playing the Barnacle. He can't wait to retire the act, and with a woman like Codex at his side, it might just be a very pleasant retirement too.

Codex indicates her breasts, sporting magnificent distended nipples now that hadn't needed much in the way of encouragement to pop.

_**Codex:** Regarding arousal, I know it's not the same as you getting to unclothe me, but if you take off your slacks, I'll take off my sweats, and you can see for yourself just what you've done to me. Deal?  
_  
Both of them having better than average webcams and high-speed internet, it was was like watching an excellent interactive DVD, one which Barney could get used to, would consider in the future getting rid of his other celebrations of the female form for. He told her as much, felt as if he could tell her anything without being looked askew at for it.

_**Barney:** Very much a deal. You know, if our personal association turns out a permanent arrangement... let's say you're the first woman I'd consider getting rid of my extensive porn collection for._

**Codex:** No!

Barney's face fell. She'd given every indication that she too hoped there was more to them than raw animalistic attraction, a more thorough basis for a ... he could think it: relationship.

_**Codex:** I meant don't get rid of your porn collection. If we developed a relationship out of this — and I have the feeling that word is as scary to you as it is to me — I'd rather we bundled our collections than get rid of them._

She gave Barney another grin as she stood up, waited for him to do the same, and both of them divested themselves of their respective pants at the same time, nothing more remaining than Barney's tent-pitched briefs and Codex' soaked plain white cotton panties, which had gotten sheer down the middle where her arousal for him had seeped through the thin fabric, affording Barney a nice view of what lay beneath them.

His mouth worked silently for a few seconds before he caught himself.

_**Barney:** That looks legen— wait for it —dary!  
_  
A very wide grin following the statement.

_**Codex:** I take it you're a cameltoe-afficionado? Your healer goddess extraordinaire is pleased to see she pleases you so. By the look of it, she pleases you a lot; you could poke an eye out with that._

Codex gestures to the obvious bulge in his underwear, where his member — mind of its own as it sometimes seems to have — is about to poke out of the top of it.

_**Barney:** I had it registered as a deadly weapon, comes with a permit too. I'll show it to you when you first stay over at my apartment._

_**Codex:** That sure of your chances with me, are you?_

_**Barney:** As Barnacle I would have been that sure. Barney Stinson is fervently hoping he hasn't misread you, the evidence before me says likely he hasn't._

Barney makes a motion of his own, taking in her peaking nipples and evident arousal down south.

_**Codex:** And you would be correct. If you promise not to think of me as one of your – correction, Barnacle's – bimbos, I'd like very much to spend the night with you after our date tomorrow._

_**Barney:** Only as long as you promise to think of me as Barney, retire any last belief of me as being the Barnacle._

Codex slides down her panties in answer, sits back down in her chair — still far enough away from the camera that he can take in all of her — and waits for his response.

_**Barney:** I think that answers my question. I hope this answers anything you wanted to ask still._

He sheds his briefs, his turgid sex springing forth from it with the life in it clearly visible to Codex eyes. Her gasp tells him enough; he had believed she'd find it impressive, it was nonetheless a relief to hear her reaction.

Even though they barely knew each other, he had already discovered he wanted to do little else but please her any way he could, and he knew she musn't find out how thoroughly enchanted with her he actually was, or they'd never be equals.

That in its own was a new concept for Barney, ever the aggressor as his — he hoped now — former self.

Barney too sat back down, all of his still on unabashed display for this woman who was so nearby and yet so far away. In truth if he sent a car for he, she could be with him within 30 minutes. For now this sufficed, and in a way it added to their ... he knew he was fucked in a good way, so he may as well call it courtship, does so now in the privacy of his thoughts.

Codex without thinking opens her legs, letting Barney know where he'll be sliding home tomorrow night, and with some luck, many more times after that, many many more.

Barney too is elicited a gasp in response to all of the other being on display without reservation.

_**Barney:** You are truly beautiful, Cyd._

The use of her given name now, at her most vulnerable, out there for him to see all of her, is too much for her; Cyd rewards Barney with a visible shudder of pleasure thundering through her body.

Codex moans, starts panting, her nipples extend a bit further still, more wetness produced, the process now visible to him as shameless as a view as she gives him — and why not, were she in his bedroom now, he'd see the same.

A moment later as she's starting to recover, she runs her right index finger between her labia minora, coming away more than merely slick, tastes herself on her finger as she brings it to her pouting lips, knowing full well what that does to Barney; and yes, 'little' Barney twitches in response at that blatant show of sexuality.

_**Codex:** I've never come without being touched before, you are truly a miraculous lover._

Barney's already engorged penis — like his ego — swells even more when he hears her say this. Precum apparent on his glans, he uses his thumb to spread it, causing the entire knob to glisten in the ambient light, an effect of pure physics not lost on Codex who one-ups him and sinks down in the chair some more.

Opening herself more to his view, her legs apart further, left hand used to part her folds, she again uses her dominant hand, rubs her nub, telling Barney silently what she wouldn't mind seeing from his end.

Neither of them speaks. He's lazily stroking himself, matching the rhythm with which she stimulates her preputium clitoridis.

Barney knew that few people suspected exactly how well educated he was, although right now that was the last thing on his mind, even as the correct Latin names for every part of her she touched surfaced as she touched them, narrated by Codex' own lovely voice in his imagination.

Their luck apparently runs out as his door is banged against loudly a few times, followed by Robin calling out to him. He ponders whether to answer, continuing to stroke his length, giving Scherbatsky another opportunity to let her presence be known. "Stinson, open up. Time to get your Canadian on."

Barney sighs, holds up a finger, "Cyd, excuse me one minute while I get rid of my bro. Don't let this stop what you're doing so well." He gives her a smile and a wink, quickly slips his briefs back on, then vanishes from view, completely forgetting to mute the microphone.

Robin takes in his appearance, naked except for his underwear, very evidently home to an erection, "I see you're ready for me." She gives him a wicked grin which weeks ago he'd have almost killed to see, and which now he doesn't find attractive on her in the least.

Barney sighs, not in pleasure this time as it had been with Codex, "Robin, this is a _really_ bad time."

Robin frowns briefly at his dismissal then resumes the smirk. "You have a bimbo over? Get rid of her and you can have me. I don't play well with competition, so a tricycle is out."

Barney shakes his head. "Something entirely unlike that. But you know what? I'm not in the mood for your games tonight, Sparkles. That includes a game of _battleships_."

Robin is stunned; Barney was about to close the door on her and get back to the woman who really holds his attention captive, when again Robin spoke.

"Wait, what? I was about to hand myself to you on a platter for the night and you turn down this," She makes a gesture including all of her physique, which yesterday Barney would've done a lot for to get with, the body he'd now wish to see leave his doorstep as soon as possible, "for what exactly?"

Barney scowls, a singularly unique expression for him, never before seen quite like this by his friends, and therefore he hopes menacing.

"Yes, I'm turning that," He repeats the gesture, "down. Permanently. I'm hereby invoking article 121, section 14, subsection 3 of the Bro Code. _"A bro who told another bro he loved her with it going unreciprocated for longer than a week — and that includes a year, like it's been — has the right at any point in time to tell her that 'benefits' just isn't in the cards any longer."_ End quote._"_

Robin is flabbergasted. At his behaviour, his expression, his words. It takes her a few seconds before she can manage anything, then blurts out. "You just made that up on the spot." At least she hopes he's playing some kind of game of hard to get with her.

Ted isn't exactly booty call material, with his annoying habit of falling in love with her at the drop of a hat. Well, that and Ted just told her there can no longer be any benefits. Now Barney of all people is turning her down? Maybe she ought to pay Lily a visit and ask what the hell is going on. Did she enter the Twilight Zone when she hadn't been paying attention?

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Either way, goodnight. I'll see you at McLaren's." Barney closes the door on Robin and heads back to Codex, who he hopes is still waiting for him.

From from behind door Robin can be heard. "He did not just do that... Barney! You did _not_ just do that! This... oh, boy."

Barney calls back over his shoulder, entirely uninterested in Scherbatsky's ego trip. "Whatever, bro. I bid you Good. Night. Stinson has left the house, except that he hasn't." If anyone he knew was more self-obsessed than he was, it was she, and he was making tracks to mellow out right now, preferably with Codex help.

Codex doesn't know what to make of all that, and when Barney returns to his seat he can see she's still there — he thanks nobody in particular, but is pleased just the same — and has made no effort to cover up. She's still aroused, more than a little aroused.

The hand between her leg has stilled however, moved up some and resting on the only hair in the area, a thin landing strip of hair. He'd been so focussed on her and what she'd been doing to herself that it is only now he notices that the carpets match the drapes.

Codex is however also very curious, inquisitive mind that she is.

_**Codex:** Bro Code?_

_**Barney:** Fuck!!!_

---

Indeed?


End file.
